retrogirl73

Um....

Tue, 19 May 2009 21:21:59 GMT

...I'm back. After a hiatus of a whopping SEVEN months. I'm just one bad, lazy motherf*cker!

Please forgive me for not being able to catch up on seven months' worth of posts, but I hope you and yours are all well and having fun. I'm looking forward to getting back in the swing of things here on LJ...thanks for the nudge, probodie !

Love to all xxx

Education, humilation, vindication!

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 22:32:31 GMT

Soz, this is a bit of a long 'un...

Back in January, when GF was at his old pre-school, the teachers (or "keyworkers" as I think they're known at that stage) took me aside and mentioned that they had noticed that he seemed unable to sit still and concentrate for very long during "Circle Time" (when they all have to sit in a circle and listen/pay attention to whatever "keyworkers" are talking about). They also said they were concerned that his gross and fine motor skills seemed a little behind, e.g. his sense of balance wasn't great, nor his paintbrush control. They did, however, say that his knowledge of numbers, letters, shapes and colours were advanced for his age (and that he was the most polite boy in the class!). They also said not to be unduly worried about any of this as, off the record, they were only compelled to flag this up 'cause Ofsted requirements/bureaucracy demanded it, and that they were of the opinion, as am I, that children of his age (he had just turned three at this point) should simply be allowed to develop at their own pace. Anyway, in accordance with Ofsted box-ticking etc they eventually managed to nab him an Individual Support Worker to work with him in class, which obviously improved things, and they also made a point of involving him in the preparation of food for "snack time" so he could work on his fine motor skills, which went on to improve dramatically and have not been an issue since.

So, onto the nursery at our local primary school, which is where he started in September. His nursery teacher had obviously been made aware of his background and she, to our relief at the time, seemed to have a likeminded common-sense view of it, believing that certain education professionals are too quick to slap labels on kids where they are neither warranted nor helpful, and that she would treat him no differently to the other children. However, since he started, I have been called in to speak to the teachers (there are two, plus one teaching assistant) more times than I can now recall for reasons I consider to be ridiculous. These include not always responding immediately when being called or addressed (what 3 and a half year-old engrossed in play does?), not crossing his legs neatly enough at "carpet time" (WTF?!) and, my favourite, not being able to repeat verbatim - until the fourth attempt apparently - an instruction given to him by his teacher, despite the fact that he had understood the instruction, acted on it immediately and was able to explain to the teacher what it was she had asked him to do. That wasn't good enough; she had a big issue with the fact that he couldn't, or wouldn't, repeat back to her what she had said, WORD FOR WORD!!! What the hell is that about (if not, purely, control)?!

There are actually a few other issues I have with both teachers there concerning their attitude and the way that they speak to parents (which is patronising, intimidating and ultimately demoralising) and it seems I'm not the only one amongst the mums who feels this way. Two examples of mine spring to mind: one when GF tripped and fell when leaving nursery one day and we returned inside for first aid, as he was bleeding from his mouth. The teaching assistant sprang into action, reassured GF and dressed his cut whilst one of the teachers (the senior one, who is the main one we have issues with) just looked on disdainfully and said, and did, NOTHING. The other is when I popped back at the last minute after dropping GF off one morning, as I'd just remembered to return his weekly library book, only to be told, sniffily and in front of the other parents, "well it's too late now, he'll have to go without a library book this week". Interestingly, they seem to give the boys and their parents a hard time (I know at least two other mums of boys there who feel they are being picked on) whilst leaving the girls pretty much completely alone. According to my next-door-neighbour, whose little girl is now in Reception, these teachers had several mums in tears last year - again, all mums of boys!

The piece de resistance came the week before last when, at the same time as telling me about the repeating verbatim episode, teacher said, and I quote: "He can't walk!". Now, what the HELL is that supposed to mean?!!!! He's been walking since he was 17 months old! Possibly later than average, yes, but well within the range of "normal." Apparently he never walks but, instead, "lurches" "shuffles", "skips" or "runs." HE'S NOT EVEN FOUR YEARS OLD FFS!!! In fact, as the nursery has a two-form entry, everyone in the class for this term was born in the calendar year 2004, making him, with his 19th December birthdate, very possibly the youngest child in the class. I just smiled and nodded while she was saying all this, all the while just letting it go over my head and taking it with a pinch of salt. However the more I think about it now, the angrier I get. How DARE she use the phrase "He can't walk!" There were numerous other ways in which she could have phrased what she thought she meant, and none of them would have been as downright offensive as that!

Anyway, a week or so into GF starting at this nursery, the teachers asked that he undergo a hearing test, due to his not always responding to them immediately when called. When I arranged the test and explained why his teachers were requesting it, a very keen and kind (and new) health visitor asked me if I had any other concerns, and I poured out all this stuff about what had been commented on at his preschool and nursery. She got in touch with the school SENCO, who submitted a report to a paediatrician, with whom an appointment was made to get him assessed for developmental delay or learning difficulties. In the meantime, I'm starting to think and fear all sorts...he's my first-born, so I have nothing to compare his development with, and I would never have had any inkling that anything was amiss had nothing been pointed out to me. Wasn't I meant to have a mother's intuition? How could I have missed anything seemingly quite major? And, most importantly and potentially terrifyingly, what might all this mean for his performance and happiness at school and, consequently, his long-term future?

So, yesterday, we had the appointment with the paediatrician at a specialist children's centre. Paediatrician spent an hour with GF and tested him on various things, e.g. speech and language, motor skills and co-ordination as well as physically examining him. And, guess what? HE'S NORMAL!!! There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with him! In fact, in some aspects of the tests, he performed higher than average! What's more, nice paediatrician fellow told me that he is fed up with over-zealous teachers getting kids referred to him that have absolutely nothing wrong with them, purely because they need to tick Ofsted boxes and, in some cases (and he suspected mine) the kid doesn't just sit there all sedate and compliant as they would like and actually has a personality!!! He also said that the school system these days seems to have a problem with accepting children as individuals, rather wanting them to perform as battery chickens to keep them ahead in their targets and league tables. Working in education and seeing what I do from my end, I also know this to be true. In fact it's something that actually put me off becoming a teacher. Interestingly of all though, he suggested, with a wry smile, that the reason for GF's apparent slow responses in class could be that "he doesn't like his teacher!" Spot on! And I can't say I blame him!!!

Basically, all this makes me feel incredibly angry, as well as sad. I've had to go through all this anxiety, not to mention GF, and all these resources have been squandered, and for what? For targets and league tables, and some stupid woman's power trip, that's what.

We've got GF's parent-teacher consultation on Thursday, which J will be attending with me, which should certainly prove interesting in the light of the paediatrician's conclusions. Not least 'cause J works in SEN and spends all day putting nightmare school headteachers in their places, never mind Little Hitler nursery teachers! During our dialogue with "Queen Victoria" (as I have nicknamed her - she looks a bit like her as well) I want to be assertive whilst avoiding all-out warfare - we've obviously got to think how GF might be affected by any fall-out, as she has already proved herself prone to being unprofessional - and basically tell her that as far as any "developmental" concerns go, we consider the matter closed and she should just get on with her job. Yes, that is, her job of managing of minor incidents day-to-day such as not being responded to after one call or not crossing legs neatly enough, without having to call parents in for every single bloody thing!

Wish us luck...I daresay she will not be amused, to coin a phrase!

Last of the summer cider...then back to school!

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 22:52:52 GMT

::door creaks open to a stirring of dust::

Hello everybody! Just been catching up on all the posts and glad that most things are tickety-boo for most of my f-list.

* Glad to hear that L is healing nicely after the bike incident, probodie *

Nothing major to report here, yet again, apart from, possibly...

I had a fabbo time a few weekends back meeting up with probodie , londonronnie and lisaloveslewis in a cool pub in the ultra-cool Bloomsbury for a few cheeky afternoon bevvies and a chinwag. So fabbo in fact that I didn't realise, until I boarded the train home at Euston, that I was completely and utterly as pissed as a fart. I then proceeded to fall asleep for all of the journey (no doubt with mouth hanging open and dribbling in a most comely fashion) and then some, 'cause the train went all the way to Watford Junction, stopped for a bit then started coming back again...all while I was asleep! Luckily I woke up just as it was pulling out of the station before mine, albeit now going in the direction of London. I was lucky I didn't have my bag nicked, come to think of it!

Me, J and the boys had an idyllic time at the weekend visiting dear old friends ('old' as in I've/we've known them for a long time) who now live deep in the heart of rural Derbyshire (nearest shops are 20 minutes' drive away). They've got a gorgeous cottage with loads of land and a lovely 10 year-old son who played with and made a huge fuss of G all weekend long, so everyone was a winner! AND we managed to soak up the last of the summer sun with a bottle of cider or two!

Now for the big stuff...G starts at "big" nursery tomorrow morning, at the primary school we hope he'll get into for Reception next year. The uniform is all laid out, name labels all present and correct...but I'm so nervous and excited and sad and...bloody hell! My little boy, my firstborn, in a SCHOOL UNIFORM!!!! West Ham colours too, as hubby has disdainfully pointed out.

Oh! And Matthew Wright is back, back, BACK!!! Dickie Bacon was an adequate stand-in, but really no more than adequate. Long may Mr Wright reign (and try saying that after an afternoon in the pub with londonronnie and probodie)!!!

Birthday musings, ladies' willies and dreams of Lewis

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 22:46:49 GMT

Well hello folks, just wanted to thank you - and, of course, The Lads - for the wonderful birthday wishes. I had a marvellous one, the best for some time actually. Hubby cooked a yummy Tex Mex meal for the extended family which was wolfed down with relish by all, followed by my fave chocolate fudge cake from Costco. If you’re a member of the wholesalely-type place Costco, I urge you to try one sometime – it's simply sublime (and absolutely huge - last time we had one we sliced up and froze the leftovers and it kept us in puddings for days). I had some decent pressies and a respectable wodge of cash too, always useful when you’ve got to the ‘unpaid’ bit of your maternity leave, although the mind did boggle a bit at one of the pressies my mother-in-law gave me: the autobiography of Brenda Blethyn. I mean, I’ve leafed through it and it's reasonably interesting and everything (she was born only three months before a certain Mr Collins, you know), but, well…isn’t that just a little bit random, since I’ve never mentioned anything about Brenda B to Mum-In-Law, ever?! Ah well. Better than a poke in the eye with a shitty stick.

However one of my fave bits of the day was when I took some of my discarded birthday card envelopes and wrapping paper outside to our recycling bin at 8am. As GF has been off preschool for three weeks now, I have become somewhat used to leaving the house later in the day and already forgotten how lovely it is to feel the early morning summer sun on your face (‘cause it was actually sunny ‘til about 10am on that day!). And there was a certain crispness to the sun’s warmth, just the littlest hint that autumn is not too far away…and I LOVE the autumn.

On Sunday we went for a hangover-busting pub lunch with the in-laws, the highlight of which had to be when I took GF to the toilet and then realised I needed to go myself, so staying in the cubicle, I did…only to have GF call out for the whole of the Ladies to hear (and it was pretty busy, being Sunday lunchtime): “MUMMY, WHY HAVEN'T YOU GOT A WILLY?” Mind you, my Mum In Law was right to point out that it would have been a damn sight more embarrassing had he shouted out “MUMMY, WHY HAVE YOU GOT A WILLY?”! (Which I haven't, of course...it isn't all an elaborate double bluff, honest!).

Anyway, onto the bit I’m sure you all REALLY want to hear about…and that’s a rather strange and convoluted dream I had last night about Lewis Collins…

Lew was being interviewed and looked, and was dressed, very similarly to how he did when he was interviewed for Without Walls in 1996, knitted blue waistcoat, William Shatner hair and all. However, this interview was an undercover ‘expose’ type interview and he wasn’t aware he was being filmed, as apparently he had been involved in some sort of sex and vice scandal (I wish this bit had been clearer – why are dreams always so bloody vague?!). What was really sexy was that he was swearing and using the ‘F’ word loads (just like that bit near the end of WDW – really gets me going, that does), aswell as making some amusing camp gestures. What was NOT so sexy was that he was wearing WHITE denim jeans and he had his waistcoat on inside out, with its Marks and Sparks label clearly visible! The findings of this ‘expose’ culminated in Michelle leaving him to “take stock” and that is about where the dream ended. Bizarre, hmm? And also the only Lewis Collins dream I have had to date where alcohol hasn’t featured prominently. What does it all mean, eh…?

Where's my Mr Wright?!

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 22:57:04 GMT

Oh noooo...I've found out this morning that my beloved Matthew Wright has gone on holiday (I'd love to know where to *g*) and won't be hosting The Wright Stuff for the next five weeks!!! Boo hoo hoo! How am I going to get my start-of-the-day lift now? Ah yes, Pros on ITV3! Still, it was nice having them both...

I'll just have to get my fix of Mr Right, er, I meant Wright, via YouTube 'til September. Let's hope there are enough hitherto unseen phone-ins and bits of panel banter to keep me going!

New eras

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 22:58:45 GMT

Well, a few developments since my last post...

We've actually found a local childminder who charges a whole pound an hour less than the other one (and she lives nearer), which totals a saving of £200 a month, which means it will actually make my working for a living worthwhile. Yeay! So, we signed on the dotted line one week ago. Also, it turned out I had actually met her before, as she is a friend of another local mum I know. And this local mum I know has prasied her to the hilt (she used to use her herself for her kiddies). So that's a BIG load off my mind. The bad news is that I've got my work diary dates for the autumn and I'm working through the evening on FW's 1st birthday...POO! AND the evening after. Still, we're going to have a big-ish family knees-up the following Saturday, so hopefully that can make up for it, especially as he won't really realise the difference at this age.

FW has got a tooth coming through! At eight months old, a whole two and a half months earlier that GF was when his first tooth came through. He's also absolutely desperate to crawl, and he's not far off achieving it. GF was eleven months before he managed it! Still, they say the second child tends to reach certain milestones earlier due to aspiring to be like their older sibling. It's certainly true that FW adores GF, despite the increased amount of rough handling he's been on the receiving end of. Now that FW is a big, burly, upsitting baby with loads of hair, GF seems to assume he's therefore ready for a bit of boyish rough-and-tumble, poor lad.

GF finished at his preschool last Wednesday, after having started last September. I mean that's just too freaky for words. Where DID the time go? They had a leaving party with the usual bouncy castle, facepainting, consuming loads of e-numbers at long tables malarkey, and it actually felt quite emotional. GF took it all in his stride though...no sooner than the headteacher's leaving speech had finished, he loudly declared that he wanted to go to the "big nursery", and when was September coming?! I collected his uniform for "big nursery" the other week and I just know I'm going to well up when I first see him in it. A lot of name tags to be sewn on in the meantime though...

Lastly...am I the only desperate housewife (or desperate anything for that matter) to have developed a crush on Matthew Wright (off of 'The Wright Stuff')?! Maybe I've just been watching too much daytime telly. Better him than Jeremy Kyle though, you have to admit...

A working mum's moan...

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 21:16:48 GMT

Well, my friends, the time is fast whittling away as I knew it would, and on 27th it'll be no more than 4 months until I go back to work. POOOOOO!!!!

Luckily and thankfully, J's Mum has agreed to look after GF four afternoons a week, and my mum one afternoon a week (he'll be at nursery in the mornings), although FW will need full-time childcare. With this in mind, I've started to research local childminders and have drawn up a list of about 30, all with the same 3-digit telephone code after the '0208', so they should all be within walking distance or a very short drive away at the most. There's loads more here than there were where we used to live, and we're further out of London now, so I assumed that might mean they'll be a little cheaper. How wrong was I! I went to see one on my list yesterday, she was very lovely and seemed suitable, etc etc, HOWEVER: £4.50 per hour. Sounds paltry, but not when you need her for 50 hours per week. That would total a whopping £900 PER MONTH!!! Once we factor in my commuting costs, my half of the mortgage and bills etc, it would work out that my monthly outlay would EXCEED my take-home pay. I would be PAYING to go to work and to hardly see my children, rather than BEING PAID. WTF????????????? Still, trouble is, we could not sustain ourselves on J's salary alone. And besides, I am contractually obliged to return to my job for at least 6 months.

So what the hell are we to do? The options are:

1) Phone around 'til we find a significantly cheaper childminder, with the hope that one exists. Go back to work full-time as planned.

2) Take a 12-month mortgage break and me take an unpaid 12-month sabbatical from work (if they let me), which gives us another year's grace. Only trouble is, apparently you're only allowed a total of 12 months of mortgage break over the entire term of the mortgage, so I'd worry that we wouldn't have a buffer if something really serious happened later down the line.

3) See if work will agree to me going back part-time, and see if our mums will agree to share childcaring duties between them.

Does anyone ever get the feeling they'd be better off if they'd never bothered trying to pay their way in this society, and just sat on their arse watching the benefits roll in and had loads of kids? For example, a third child isn't even an option for us financially, yet some just keep popping them out, knowing that the likes of us will pick up the tab because it never occurred to us NOT to work. Not that benefits shouldn't be there for those who genuinely need them or fall on hard times through no fault of their own, but really...why do the middle-earners keep getting screwed over whilst bankrolling everyone else?

Ahem. Rant over.

It's me! I'm back!

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 23:51:01 GMT

Well hello folks,

I've been out of circulation for a wee while due to a very pleasant holiday in the Isle of Wight, and although I've caught up with all the posts of my f-list, there's no way I'm going to have the time or energy to respond to individual posts as I would have liked.

Suffice to say:

londonronnie: I am eternally grateful for the many happy hours and magic moments that have been the fruits of your research labours! Oh, and G's mate was great in that Maggie Thatcher thing (as was the son of dear old and much missed Roy Kinnear). I'm not surprised you were gobsmacked - I was too!

probodie: I am so totally with you on the pop thing. Two contenders I would put forward for 'Greatest POP Song of All Time' (as opposed to 'Greatest Song' in an artier sense, although both categories would be equally valid): 'Please Please Me' by The Beatles or 'Dance Yourself Dizzy' by Liquid Gold. Actually, there are loads, LOADS more. Oh, and Two Songs I Would LOVE To Sing Karaoke But Sadly Have Never Had the Opportunity: 'You're So Vain' by Carly Simon and 'Silver Lady' by David Soul (although the titular gender perspective might be problematic for that one).

byslantedlight: So sorry to hear of your job and accommodation woes. Talk about an over-the-top, knee-jerk, horse-has-already-bolted-anyway reaction to whichever doofus it was who left those papers lying about. I'm keeping everything crossed for your luck on all fronts to change soon ((HUGS))

Anyway, going back to the Isle of Wight (which we have already decided we will be doing), here are some piccies that I think sum up our little soujorn rather nicely...

Another old friend gone...

Thu, 29 May 2008 00:02:38 GMT

I don't know if any of you have known of, or ever had the pleasure of visiting, a coffee shop in Camden High Street, North London called The Bean and Cup. A little gem of a place, which absolutely craps all over Starbuck's and its likes.

You've got the fairy-light festooned wooden shelves displaying funky greetings cards, chinaware and photo frames for sale. You've got the long counter, where the wonderful beverages and smoothies are concocted by the two gay owners, lovely and friendly blokes who remember what your "usual" is and deliver it with a smile (and often a quip). Then, at the back, you've got the piece de resistance: a skylit seating area with wooden floors, massive leather sofas and low tables with all the daily newspapers on hand. You really could while away a whole slothful morning or afternoon there. Utterly lethal for lunchours too.

Well, on Tuesday I had to pop into town for a dentist's appointment, my dentist being based on that very same stretch of Camden High Street. With baby FW in tow, and with an hour to spare before my appointment I decided to take a pit-stop to feed baby and recharge my batteries with caffeine. The Bean and Cup was the obvious choice.

However, despite seeing the welcoming signage as usual as I was going across the pelican crossing, it wasn't until I was right up close with my nose pressed against the glass that I realised the sad truth. The place has closed down. It was all empty - right down to those wooden shelves - and its once welcoming doors bolted shut.

This just makes me so, so sad. Even with a Starbuck's, a Coffee Republic, a Cafe Nero AND Costa Coffee all within spitting distance, I really don't think their problem was a lack of business. They had the edge over all those souless, "Emperor's New Clothes" (as I like to call them) coffee chains, and it seemed the whole of North London knew it, as the place was always packed. My guess is that their rent went up by some ridiculously prohibitive amount, something that has been allowed to happen BECAUSE all the big, bland chains are moving in to an area previously world-renowned for its individuality and quirkiness, and squeezing out its lifeblood.

And my beloved Bean and Cup are not the only small business of its kind in Camden to suffer this way...

RIP The Bean and Cup, 104 Camden High Street, London NW1 (now shut - premises stand empty)

RIP Rose and Jack's Cafe and Grill, 61 Camden High Street, London NW1 (shut for months - premises still stand empty)

RIP George and Nicki's Cafe, Parkway, London NW1 (demolished, along with a few other local businesses, to make way for a multi-screen cinema, a Gap store and...a Starbuck's)

A bit of self-pity...

Sun, 25 May 2008 23:16:23 GMT

*sigh*

Seems everyone on my f-list have been doing lovely, exciting things lately. I've been doing the sum total of fuck all.

Even our Eurovison-themed weekend for friends coming to visit from Devon didn't come to pass, as their toddler daughter got ill at the last minute (nothing serious though). Typical when you have kids; you plan things meticulously months in advance (husband and wife are both doctors, so that planning takes some doing) and then one of them (the kids usually, not the grown-ups) goes and throws up at the crucial moment and it all goes to pot. Nothing personal against their daughter of course, my boys are just as bad. Still, at least they cancelled BEFORE we'd gone shopping for all the bits for the traditional Swiss fondue we were going to have and various European booze and choccie delicacies. At this rate, it looks like we'll be re-organising for a date in September!

Oh, and we got confirmation for our cheapo 'Sun' newspaper holiday...first choice of caravan park in the Isle of Wight, but third choice of date, i.e. 2nd June, which is waaay too far from next payday to avoid the plastic from getting a bashing. And according to the BBC website the weather's going to be shite too. Still, the Isle of Wight...I've never been there before, it's away from the mainland and it even gets a namecheck in Sergeant Pepper (When I'm 64), so you can't say fairer than that!

Keep your hair on (or not, as the case may be)!

Mon, 19 May 2008 22:49:30 GMT

Hey, for all you ladies suffering from Nattercon withdrawal symptoms, here's a little Lewis nugget I happened upon in the other week's Radio Times:

ON THIS DAY...16 years ago

4 May 1992

ITV got an all-star cast for its new murder mystery Cluedo, and two of them opened up to RT about their career conundrums. Lewis Collins grouched a bit about The Professionals: "Martin Shaw is having a lot of trouble with typecasting too - he's very much into being Dustin Hoffman, as I was, but I've got a bit jaded." [There's a bit about Lysette Anthony here, but I took the liberty of assuming you lot wouldn't be that interested].

Dustin Hoffman?! Martin, you should be so lucky dear! (*ducks missiles*). Only joking, of course.

In other news, I've just had half me barnet chopped off! Yes, I am now the proud wearer of a short bob and, my, has it made life easier. So much quicker to wash and dry, no more faffing about wondering whether to wear it up or down, no having Baby FW grab great big chunkfuls of it with an iron grip and, of course, stuff it straight into his mouth. And it makes me feel more grown up for some reason, which is just as well, as I turn 35 fairly soon and had been thinking I couldn't keep going around with the same hairstyle I've had since I was 24. Plus, if my parents and sisters are anything to go by, the first grey hairs should be sprouting soon and keeping 'em dyed brunette will be so much less maintenance if they're shorter.

Pic to follow as soon as a decent and flattering one shows up (so you could have a long wait)!

We're The Sweeney an we 'aven't 'ad any dinner...

Mon, 12 May 2008 23:28:21 GMT

I'm SO enjoying those Sweeney repeats on ITV3 at the moment. 1970s London: you just can't beat it. And the dialogue is just priceless...this line from Carter at the end of Saturday's ep, 'Sweet Smell of Succession':

"'e'll be alright, nightclub and Champers up west, leg-over at 'er place..."

Pure gold.

Funny enough, the actor who plays the character to whom Carter is referring is Hywell Bennett, who also stars in a fab 1960s Brit film called 'The Family Way', which I had finally got 'round to buying on DVD only a few days earlier, as they never seem to show it on telly anymore. (I was particularly amused to read on Hywell's Wiki entry that his Dad was called Gordon - or could that be those Wiki vandals striking again?!).

Wood you believe...

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 22:54:18 GMT

...that me and the old man (er, well actually he's younger than me) celebrated five years of marriage today, our 'Wooden' anniversary! We had our parents and some rellies round for tea, cakes and Champers on what has been the hottest day of the year so far and it was so lovely to sit out in the garden for the first time in seven months. We did however have our wedding DVD on continuous play in the front room for those seeking shade (lucky people! Well, my sister was glued to it...).

And we got some top pressies...the Mum-In-Law made a 'wooden' treasure chest cake (see below) and my Mum and Dad bought us a rather fab and funky wooden wind-chime for the garden (also see below).

Still, five years eh? You get less (considerably less!) for murder these days, etc etc...

I'm a failure! (said in Frank Spencer voice)

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 21:26:26 GMT

I felt like a right doofus t'other night when J pointed out that perhaps the reason that our bottle steriliser wasn't working was 'cause I had switched it on without putting any water into it first. The smell of burning babies' bottles had given it away. Doh! Ah well, we were going to get shot of it in a few weeks anyway, when baby FW turns 6 months old. We're certainly not going to shell out for a new one now, so I'll just have to be extra scrupulous with with my manual bottle washing. He's reaching out for just about anything and everything and putting it in his mouth nowadays (the baby, not the husband), so what's the point of sterilising anyway? Build up his immune system, I say!

Oh, and J went to the hairdreser's this morning, his first proper hairdresser haircut since he started letting me loose on his barnet with one of those DIY clipper kit thingies ages ago. And what do you think the coiffeuse said?

"If the person who cut your hair last was qualified, I'd have them shot!!"

Well, I suppose, as J kindly pointed out, at least she specified "qualifed"...

White weddings

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 12:48:48 GMT

Last Friday my in-laws celebrated their 44th wedding anniversary. We spent the afternoon at theirs, drinking bubbly, eating cake and lapping up some rays in the garden on what was apparently the hottest day of the year so far. Funny thing is, on their actual wedding day on 4th April 1964, it snowed and became the coldest April day for 80 years.

On Sunday (2 days later), we went to the wedding of one of J's old work colleagues. And guess what - it was snowing. The bride, though she looked lovely, wore a strapless dress and looked like she was going to catch her death! All the guests had to assemble outside for photos and got all goose-pimply (especially us ladies), as of course we were all dressed for what we perhaps over-optimistically assumed would be a Spring wedding, and couldn't wait to scuttle back inside to the log fire.

But then...during the wedding breakfast, the sun came out, melted all the snow and poured in through the large Georgian windows of the venue. Everybody felt rather warm and were casting jackets and cardis aside.

J and I got married in April (on 26th) five years ago and we had a lovely, sunny, dry and mild day in what apparently turned out to be the sunniest April since 1949. I spent my Hen Weekend in Bournemouth over 4th/5th/6th April and it was so sunny and warm that we were paddling in the sea!

The strange mistress that is the British weather never ceases to amaze me...

Writer's Block: Where in the World...

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 22:56:14 GMT

In a big, preferably Art Deco or 1960s, house with some land in a wealthy stockbroker belt to the north west of London (Herts or Bucks) just pottering around, doing crafty things, going shopping and lunching, hosting get-togethers for friends and family...and being there for my children withoug having to worry about the work/home/childcare juggling act. Oh, and I would employ staff (living out I think) to ensure that I would never have to clean or do any gardening ever again!

If you were independently wealthy, where in the world would you live and how would you spend your time?

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Wetting the baby's head...and some!

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 23:22:44 GMT

Just looking in to report that Frankie's Christening took place on Easter Sunday - in the snow - after J and I had stayed up 'til 1am the night before making sandwiches for the party. We produced SIXTEEN foil platters of sarnies in 4 hours. Not bad going! And we still ended up with 3 full platters left at the end, not to mention surplus industrial amounts of cheese slices, ham slices, beef slices, mozarella, tomatoes, horseradish sauce and French mustard.

Tip: when catering for a party of 60 or so guests, only actually buy and make about one sixth of whatever you think you will need!

Oh, and we're also left with 4 boxes of Pinot Grigio, 2 boxes of Cabernet Sauvignon, 45 bottles of Kronenbourg 1664 and six bottles of bubbly, all neatly stacked under our breakfast bar. But I daresay we'll work our way through those ;) And no, we most certainly did not cram 60 people into our house - our local community hall did very nicely (and a snip at £75 for the day)!

Although loads couldn't make it due to having other plans for the Easter weekend (and then a few of the flakier ones cried off at the last minute because of the snow), it was lovely to see those friends and family who could make it, one of whom we realised we hadn't seen for 4 years (WTF?), plus also to welcome some of the newer friends we've made since moving here, and their kids who are at pre-school with G. Oh, and the vicar who performed the ceremony, who is actually our next-door-but-one-neighbour! J was also chuffed to bits when his work colleague turned up with the present of a full Arsenal strip for F, complete with socks!

Although F was a bit under the weather on the day, he stayed characteristically chipper and didn't cry or whinge once. He clearly didn't want to miss out on anything either, as he didn't go to sleep 'til 5pm.

Here's to FW!!!

From CBeebies to LWT

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 01:33:21 GMT

:: door creaks open again ::

hello again

Not done owt interesting lately, hence the lack of posts. Just caught up in that parallel existence of wall-to-wall CBeebies and mopping up wee, poo and possett for a living. But the boys are divine (most of the time) and both asleep for 12 hours from 8pm, so can't really complain.

Oh, one thing I can report...I walked past 'Bootsy Brogan's' pub in Wembley last Friday, a.k.a. 'The Chequered Flag' in Wild Justice. This was en route to taking G to a soft play centre at none other than Vale Farm Sports Centre in Wembley, as featured at the beginning of 'Rogue' (notable for Martin falling over - unintentionally by the look of things - and the glimpse we get of the waistband of Lew's undies)! Both places were reassuringly intact, prompting me to wonder whether we're all due another Pros Greater London Locations Tour sometime soon...

It's little me again!

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 00:51:31 GMT

:Sound of door creaking open:

...hello...

Just wanted to reassure you all that I'm still alive. I just kind of slipped out of the LJ habit for a few weeks, then the longer it got, the more difficult it was to get back in. Maybe it's late winter lethargy...maybe preoccupation with organising F's Christening...maybe I've just been a lazy cow. But anyway, here I am, and although I may slip away now and again, I'll always come back (worse luck for you lot)!

I haven't yet mustered the will or energy to read back over all the posts I've missed (so I am a lazy cow then), so apologies if I haven't responded to any major announcements or particularly heartfelt or amusing posts.

DID I miss anything exciting...?

((HUGS)) and air-kisses to all my f-list xxx

Growing pains

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 00:54:26 GMT

*Sigh*...my baby F is growing fast. He outgrew his 0-3 months baby clothes over a month ago (at one month old), and although he doesn't turn 3 months for another fortnight, some of the 3-6 month clothes he is already wearing - particularly anything with legs - don't look like they'll do him for much longer either. I had been piling up the outgrown babygros, the fleece snowsuit we brought him home from hospital in (which used to be G's) and other items on a little chair in his bedroom, knowing they were no use anymore and starting to clutter up the place, and yet not being quite ready to part with them. It doesn't seem like any time ago since I was excitedly buying those babygros during a little skive from work after an ante natal appointment, knowing this time that I was having a boy, and packing them lovingly into my hospital bag. When G was outgrowing his baby clothes, it was simple; we knew we planned to have another child, so we kept everything and stored it carefully away. Therefore I suppose this feels so hard because letting go of the baby items really means having to let go of a very happy and important chapter of my - our - life: Having Babies. Not that I particularly want another baby or think it would be a good idea to have one given our financial situation, the size of our house, my advancing age and the sheer hard work of it all, but it still feels sad to think that I won't, if that makes any sort of sense.

So I left the Help The Aged collection bag at the end of the drive this morning with a heavy heart, but I forced myself to do it nonetheless. I found myself particularly anxious that it would be picked up by the crooks that often intercept these things before the charity manages to collect ('couldn't handle the thought of all the love in that bag ending up in their filthy, greedy hands), but was relieved to see a bona fide 'Help The Aged' van in the neighbourhood on my way to take G to preschool. On getting home, the bag was gone and a little Thank You slip was on the doormat. And you know what? I felt tonnes better and knew I'd done the right thing. Hopefully that means that all this letting go business gets easier the more you do it...

Anyways, on the subject on my boys, thought you F-listers might like to see how they're coming along...

ME ME ME!!!

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 23:26:49 GMT

Right, I'm finally going to join in with one of these meme things...

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Yep – Lizzie/Elizabeth Bennett in Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. My Mum was reading it when he was pregnant, then when I arrived, my sister (who was then 7 years old) jogged her memory.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
The last time I really sobbed was when I was heavily pregnant and highly hormonal (see post for 6th November 2007), but the last time I had moist eyes and a lump in my throat was the other night, when Vera died on Corrie.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I like the fact that it’s unusual and a bit strange (God knows how it developed), although I’ve taken on a few lazy habits since using a keyboard so much.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Lamb, either as a roast or in a curry. You can’t beat a nice bacon sarnie either. I’ve often flirted with the idea of going veggie, but even the occasional craving for the abovementioned would make it very difficult indeed.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Yes, two boys. The older one turned three in December and the younger one is just ten and a half weeks old.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I already have two friends in particular who are so like me it’s uncanny, so yes, I suppose I would.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Not as much as I’d like to if I was clever enough!

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yes – but I often wish I didn’t

9. DO YOU COOK/BAKE?
Not properly and not often enough. It consequently takes me absolutely ages to make anything from scratch, although the results are usually OK.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Bran Flakes, ever since I was a kid. My older son loves them now too

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
I always untie them, ‘cause I’m quite anal like that. If it’s an emergency and I have to slip them off, I’ll return and untie them properly at the earliest opportunity

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
When the shit really hits the fan, I'd like to think I am, although I can be a bit pathetic when dealing with trifling matters

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Mint choc-chip

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Their overall presentation; dress sense, make-up etc

15. RED OR PINK?
Red

16.WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
I can be too anal and get way too hung up on things that really don’t matter

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My best friend L who lives miles away in Leeds; my Nan who passed away 10 years ago

18. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Three grapes, grabbed from the bowl as I was walking through the kitchen

19. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
A programme about George Michael on in the background on BBC4

20. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Purple

21. FAVORITE SMELLS?
The top of my baby’s head, my husband’s aftershave, pie and chips cooking in the oven, rooms where clean clothes are drying

22. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Someone who will hopefully supply a bouncy castle for my son’s Christening party

23. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Footie – but the only games I can actually sit and watch from start to finish are the FA Cup Final or World Cup games

24. HAIR COLOR?
Dark brown

25. EYE COLOR?
Blue

26. FAVORITE FOOD?
Lamb madras with pilau rice; Mexican fajitas

27. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Either, depending on the quality of the film

28. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Probably one of the On The Buses spin-offs over Christmas

29. SUMMER, WINTER, SPRING OR AUTUMN?
Autumn

30. HUGS OR KISSES?
You can have a hug without a kiss, but not the other way ‘round

31. FAVORITE DESSERT?
JD Wetherspoon’s chocolate fudge cake

32. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
As usual I’ve got more than one novel on the go that it's taking me far too long to finish ...at the moment they are Tropic of Ruislip by Leslie Thomas and We Need To Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver. I keep getting diverted by The Best of Cosmopolitan: The 1970s and 1980s!

33. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
A photo of me holding my elder son on my lap on a swing when he was 18 months old

34. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
Coronation Street

35. FAVORITE SOUND?
Husband coming through the door of an evening, ‘cause it means I’m about to have an extra pair of hands!

36. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles, though it’s not impossible for a die-hard Beatlemaniac to love The Stones too.

37. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Malaysia and Singapore in 1999

38. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Welwyn Garden City, Hertfordshire

39. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO READING?
All of them – nothing like one of these thingies for getting to know people a little better

40. WHAT TIME IS IT NOW?
And the time is 23:20

A bear behind

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 22:39:45 GMT

Blimey, I'm so KNACKERED!!!

Baby F is an absolute angel, smiles and gurgles constantly and has even been sleeping through the night over the past week. It's three year-old G who is bloody hard work! I suppose the combination of a strong-willed and highly energetic (not to mention incontinent) toddler/young child and a woman in her mid-30s who also has a small baby to look after was always going to result in a serious sapping of energy. This is the first time I've managed to muster up the energy to come on LJ for about a fortnight!

Still, at least J, me and Baby spent a wonderful night away last Saturday for me old man's 70th birthday (he actually turned 70 on Monday - yes, he shares his birthday with Martin Shaw! AND my Mum's birthday is two days after!). G stayed with J's sister, as the in-laws came too, and we all stayed overnight at the hotel where my Dad had his celebratory meal. Amusingly, the staff had set a place at the table for a huge teddy bear, which is apparently something they always do if there would otherwise be 13 around the table. I actually ended up sitting next to Mr Bear, who was a bit on the boring side I have to admit. Still, it was a lovely break away...gorgeous hotel, lakeside views, roaring log fire in the bar, canopy bed. Shame we were only there for 18 hours!

2008 is gonna rock (apparently)...

Sat, 05 Jan 2008 03:44:23 GMT

Both the husband and I received a mysterious and intriguing text message at 7:20pm on New Year's Eve. Mysterious, as neither of us, nor our our phones, recognised the number. Intriguing, as it read thus:

2008 is gonna rock and I'm gonna rock out with my cock out. Happy ny all x

Well I wonder if they did, or indeed are still doing so? I'd like to think so.

Out with the old...

Tue, 01 Jan 2008 04:21:22 GMT

Hmm, I've had far too much Cava and HP sauce (but not together) after our bacon-and-sausage-butty-with-the-in-laws-at-our-house-extravaganza and am feeling rather reflective. So, here it is...

BEST OF 2007
* Getting pregnant and giving birth to our adorable Frankie (affectionately known by us as 'The Mogwai' or 'The Frankster') on 12th November. Second time I've got pregnant and given birth all in the same calendar year!
* George being gorgeous and keeping us all amused and entertained
* Working on our house and getting it just as we want it (for now...)
* My best friend of 30 years coming back from Canada - with hubby and kids - to live in the UK permanently
* My very, very good friend C getting back in touch and spending some quality time with us after a year of virtually no contact and lots of worry as to whether she was OK
* Going to my first Nattercon, having a bloody fantastic time and making some new LJ friends as a result (waves to rosie55, byslantedlightand kiwisue
* Spending a wonderful weekend away in for my cousin G's wedding in Portsmouth in July and getting a .25 carat eternity ring out of it (then finding out this Christmas that my cousin's wife is expecting in June '08)
* Getting to know our neighbours/other mums near us through G going to the local nursery....and going for a lovely Christmas meal with 5 of them
* The in-laws moving closer to us
* Re-uniting with some old friends on Facebook, one of whom I hadn't heard from for 23 years

WORST OF 2007
* My cousin S attempting suicide, having her marriage break up and her house re-possessed (in that order)
* My other cousin J (sibling to the above cousin) going to prison twice, threatening suicide and physically (but thankfully not seriously) assaulting my Dad a week before Christmas
* My dear friend J going through a stressful time due to an ill-advised house move
* My dear friend E having expensive and uncomfortable - and failed - IVF treatment for a second time...but here's to the next attempt in January 08 being successful :)
* Water main bursting at the top of our pathway, very nearly flooding our house and permanently defacing the pathway (which had to be dug up)
* The summer (the first where we've had a proper garden) being shit and raining the whole time

So, all in all, this year hasn't been too bad. I'd say, for me at least, that the positves have outweighed the negatives. And you can't say fairer than that.

WISHING ALL OF YOU ON MY F-LIST A WONDERFUL 2008, WITH ABSOLUTELY LOADS OF POSITIVES!!!!

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Peaked too soon

Sun, 23 Dec 2007 02:11:04 GMT

I can't believe we had to take down our 20 day-old (real) Christmas tree today and replace it, as it had wilted and gone bare already. In fact the branches started to droop the day after we got it, but we spent some time in denial. Rather depressing it was to have a tree where the branches are at a 45 degree downward angle than an upward one, and its decorations are falling off one by one.

So, be warned...if you're buying a real tree, don't get it from B&Q for a tenner, invest at least twenty quid in one from a proper garden centre or country park instead. (In fact I was sorely tempted to go back to having an artificial tree, but I just can't resist that smell...takes me right back to childhood Christmases, sitting under the tree, feeling up the presents...).

Mind you, our new tree does look rather fab if I say so myself. Might even leave it up 'til Twelfth Night! (Note lack of presents underneath, due to 3 year-old son's over-zealousness and present fetish).